My first entry...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"I always give into one of these after a while.

Lets start with this...

This one's entitled "Out of Reach."

Verse

In and out!
I can't be satisfied more than one time.
Left or right?
Which direction will take me by surprise?
I'm okay, believe me, but when will I be happy?

Chorus

I wake up, I wake up, every morning wanting something out of reach.
Oh, oh, I think this time my dreams have gotten the best of me.

Verse

I admit, I run and I hide.
I play shy.
I make no attempt on what could be mine.

Pre-chorus

Every single time.
Please, don't waste your time.

Chorus

I wake up, I wake up, every morning wanting something out of reach.
Oh, oh, I think this time my dreams have gotten the best of me.

Bridge

I'd rather be alone in this because there won't be much that I'll miss.

Chorus

I wake up, I wake up, every morning wanting something out of reach.
Oh, oh, I think this time my dreams have gotten the best of me.

I feel like this needs more explanation. It's obvious, though, that I lose interest. Whether it comes to a relationship or a hobby...I just lose interest after a while. It's always been a problem of mine or is it really a problem? I'm not really sure. It is only in my dreams where I'm content with what I have and never want to let it go. In realization after waking up, I'm not happy with what I have. I always want more and can never find that "more" in someone. I believe I have once, but the timing and place were completely off. Anyway, I'm never taken by surprise. I don't expect much out of anything and I never make an effort. Yes, it makes me look like an asshole. I'm aware of that.

In conclusion, I just want a girl who can be inspiring, open-minded, unpredictable, witty, and just enough of a bitch. It's rare, though, so it seems. "

This upsets me so much.

Did I every mention how much I love change? Well, I do.

I love my new job and am totally okay with not having a social life because in the end, it'll all pay off. No pun intended.

I always need something to reassure myself that I am better off. Thanks.

"Adventurer

To dream that you are an adventurer, indicates that you are lacking adventure in your waking life. You need some excitement and variety. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are too absorbed with your ambition that you do not take the time to acknowledge those who have helped you along the way."

Only the first half makes sense to me.

my heart is pumping
for one reason.
maybe it's my imagination,
but it's true.
it's all in your hands.
i no longer
have this on my shoulders.

oh no,
it must be something i said.
love is another word for regret.
you know,
it must be part of my plan.
it's never too late to understand.

and i
wanted it to be
something more than
just another run-around for me.
and even though...
i'm glad that i'm finally free.
all that's left for my life
is now up to me.

and i
walk around for days
and i
only see you in my dreams.

wait for me like i've waited for you.

Destination: Redemption

I am stubborn, impatient, blunt, and a bitch. I've been screwed over by 98% of the people I've met. I know for a fact that I have every reason to be all these things that I've stated. I don't bother with things that aren't worth my time because I won't benefit from it. Am I an asshole? Maybe, but don't you get tired of not getting something in return after all that you've given?

Afraid of an airplane
of a car swerving in the lane
of the dark cloud too low
or being swept away by the undertow
of a building tumbling down,
of the train when it's underground
of the icy mountain roads we have to take to get to the show.

There's just a time when we must all let go of the breath that we hold

There's just a time when we must all let go of the breath that we hold, into the unkown we have to go..

Afraid when the phone rings, another breath of life has ceased
It seems it's just lost so easily
Afraid my heart, it beats too slow
or like a died and just didn't know
or of a fate I will have to choose
and I'm afraid of how much I love you...

There's just a time when we must all let go of the breath that we hold

There's just a time when we must all let go of the breath that we hold, into the unknown we have to go...

It's just now that I found a place where I can breathe...

This was the song that made me grow up and face my fears. It's been 4 years and not once, have I looked back.

A friend called me a pusher the other day and I automatically thought of...

At least he said that it rules and I like to believe so myself.

Fuck, yeah! It's been over a year since I've haven't eaten meat. Here's to more years.