if there's nothing here, then it's probably mine...

What a relief! I didn't have to open at work Today, but I do have to close. Afterwards, I have to head back to the studio. Man, this is taking much longer than I expected.

Yesterday was a pretty chill day. I went into the studio around 10 and left around 3 and headed to LI to hang out with Bree and her friends. Then I went into Manhattan to stop by Natasha's place for a little and sat around with Lauren and Randi. I didn't get home 'til around 2.

You see, I'm a pretty busy person, but I manage to make time for everyone. I wish others would do the same for me.

It's not really what you need, it's more what you have...

I always think about how things would be if I were still taking antidepressants for my severe depression. I started taking them at the age of 13 and took them for about a year and a half. A year and a half of emptiness pretty much sums it up. I lied to my psychiatrist about my sudden "happiness" because I could not take not feeling a single...feeling. By doing that with time passing by, the dosages were being lowered. Next thing I knew, I was done with the pills. I realized that this is something I had to deal with and overcome on my own. I'm not one to rely on things or others because in the end, you only have yourself.

It's been about 7 years later and I've never been so confident in myself and where I stand in life. I wake up every morning gaining more strength than I did the previous day. My independence has taken another level and it will only progress.

I can elaborate so much more on this topic(Whether it be my past struggles, experiences, and etc.), but I just wanted something short to look back on. You know, whenever I want to put a smile on my face because I'm still here...kicking ass.

Now to change the subject, even though my show was early today, it went awesome. I could care less if there were only 10 people watching us. The chemistry and energy that my band and I feed off of each is something that I truly cherish. There are bands out there that wish they had this and I'm fucking lucky. I decided to stay in tonight because I have recording early in the morning. Hopefully, we'll wrap it all up Tomorrow night.

Can't stop 'til you get enough...

I've been having too much fun lately with iMovie...



RIP Michael Jordan LOLZ

OH MAN IT'S TAKING ME OVER...

Good things happen to good people.
That's all I've gotta say.

We'd love to see you in the ground...

I know I'm very into myself, but there are others who take it to another level.

I don't know why I bother asking others how they're doing when they don't even have the decency to ask how I'm doing in return. But the real question is, do they do it because of the attention that's being given to them or do they just not care about how I'm doing? This happens to me at least once a day. Why do I care about others, whether they're acquaintances, a stranger, an old and/or new friend, and etc? OH! I have a big heart. I forgot about that.

A lot of things don't make sense to me and I'm sure this isn't worth figuring out along with other things. It's not like I let things like this ruin my day, but I always wonder. Nah mean?

Because standing at the top of a mountain leaves me nothing to look forward to...

This week has been great.
I'm kinda worn out and this weather isn't helping.

LEMURIA HOUSE SHOW ON TUESDAY!
HOLY FUCKKKKKK.
I'm so excited!
I don't have to drive down to Philly anymore.

Slingshot Dakota were awesome last night.

Okay, something that was on my mind the other day...

I remember talking to Elliott about how it's better just meeting someone new in person unexpectedly than off the internet. Elliott is a new friend that I made unexpectedly from Barnes and Nobles when I went to visit my niece. We ended up hanging out in the city a week later. Anyway, back to the topic. I've met a ton of people off the internet and I could say that I've only clicked with 3-4 of them. I feel like when you're meeting someone off the internet, they're expecting a lot from you after looking at your profile or whatever information that you put out about yourself and vice versa. If you have your mind set on that then you're just bound to be disappointed. In the past month, I've made a handful of new friends(Not off the internet, btw.) and they're great. When you first meet someone, you don't know what to expect and I love that! I'm used to not expecting anything, but I've noticed a change in myself lately. That's a different topic I'll discuss about later on. Anyway, does anyone else agree with me?

If the world was flat, I'd grind the edge.

"Pretty much by the end of the summer will mark 5 years of being Straight Edge.
A lot of people don't understand why I claimed this and still do.
It's alright because I don't expect them to understand; I do this only for myself.

We all need something to believe and have faith in.
If we don't, then how will we ever overcome anything in life?
I've turned to and confided in Straight Edge and I couldn't have asked for anything more.
Everyday my beliefs grow stronger and I've become a stronger person.
I've had the ability to crush my thoughts of curiosity and all the negativity that is filled within this world.
With that ability being said, I feel like I can do and get through anything.
It's such an incredible feeling and makes me feel more than good about myself.

Straight Edge has become the fire in my heart and because of that, I'm able to pick myself up whenever I am down."

I wrote this about a year ago and it still means the world to me.
The random spot on my arm where hair doesn't grow doesn't make sense to me, but this does and it always will.

You should pay rent in my mind...

Never EVER let two people blow dry your hair at the same time.
I almost died.
Just sayin'.

We're gonna have a T.V. party tonight! Alright!

After waiting for almost 2 months, the DVD for our live performance at The Stone Pony came in! I'm pleased with the quality and the performance, but the leads could've been louder. This is so awesome to have and add to our press kit! I've gotta figure out a way to rip this shit and put it up on youtube, haha.

Whenever I think about it, I just keep on getting more and more excited for this band. Seriously, I've never put so much work into a band before and I'm glad I'm with people who do the same. Gah, I get so emotional over this. I'm such a softy, man.

We're going back into the studio on the 24th to record 3 new songs, but I kinda have a feeling my 4th song will be done before then. We'll see.

1. Out of Reach
2. In This Moment
3. MAN THE FUCK UP! (Seriously, if I can't think of a title...this is going to be it.)
4. Little Things

I'm so0o0o0o0o0o excited!

The graduation party we played today was awesome! The food was awesome! Dan and Matt(In Full Bloom) are awesome! Kelly's family is awesome! Today was just awesome!

This week should be solid.
Next week should be even more solid.

I'm really stoked for the LI show on the 28th and then afterwards, Bree is throwing a bbq at her place! I could care less that I'm missing Pride. It's just filled with bullshit and drama. I'm glad I haven't attended one yet.



Holy fuck. 48 to 58 seconds in this video had me tearing. SO GOOD.

It's in me to want it all...

Every summer I feel the need to give myself a change and I'm at it again.

1. No more glasses(When I get new contacts, that is.)
2. Haircut
3. Read more(My niece works at Barnes and Nobles! I already ordered books.)
4. Learn to speak fluently in Spanish(It's a shame I didn't before my Grandmother passed away. I'm doing this for her.)
5. Learn to fuckin' cook
6. Find a new job(You know you need a new job when a customer asks why you've been working in a such a negative environment for almost 2 years.)
7. Go to San Francisco in August(STOKED!)
8. Convince my mom in allowing me to get my Jawbreaker tattoo
9. Keep working out
10. ...to make more changes/to-do lists.

This summer has been great thus far.
And you know what?
I don't need a girlfriend.
My previous summers have sucked because of being involved.
Well, maybe it was just the situation(s) that made it sucked.
Don't get me wrong, though.
I'd love to be involved with someone, but it's probably not going to be happening anytime soon.
I don't care if I'm (too) picky.
There is someone out there for me.

Time will turn and tell.

I bet you thought this song was about you...

Sometimes, I really hate being a songwriter. I'm always questioned about my writings. I write mostly about girls, what more do you want? Just let it be. I don't bother others of their writings and could care less about it's meaning, but it seems like lately some write desperately to be heard. It's rather depressing.

My inspiration has gotten a hell of a lot better over the years(I went from writing one song a year to now once a month or every other.), but it still takes a lot for me to be inspired. I've been crossing my fingers for anything to hit me. Whether good or bad. You want in on this? Go for it.

The current song I wrote could just be the corniest song I've ever written yet. It shows this other side of me that most aren't aware of. It's a shame, though, because the feelings being exposed in the writing will not progress. Inspiration is inspiration I suppose. I wrote a song? I guess that's good enough.

"Little Things"

I wrote lyrics at work because it was the only thing that made time go by faster.

Straight forward and not having a single care in the world. You gave me inspiration that couldn’t be developed before. The intensity being released from firm hands led me to believe that your hands were meant to make something out of nothing.

I’m a sucker for little things and one thing will remind me of everything.

Your voice and strum was comforting from ear drum to ear drum. A corny joke exchanged for a laugh. I can’t help it even if it’s that bad(So I laugh, so I laugh.).

I’m a sucker for little things and one thing will remind me of everything.

And now these moments replay in my head because I know I will never see you again.

I’m a sucker for little things and one thing will remind me of everything. I’m a sucker for little things and one thing has reminded me of everything.